A Prayer for the Children

 MLB Reports (seemingly his full name) just cares.  He's looking at the guys leading the Majors in walks, and he knows what's wrong.  It's what's wrong with every pitcher having trouble.  He just wants them to get it.  And since obviously their pitching coaches, managers, and teammates have all failed to get the message through, he lays it out for them:

The emphasis is on pitching, not throwing: I hope these guys understand that one day.

We all so, MLB Reports, we all do.